What It’s Like Loving the Girl with the Messed Up Past

I lost my dad when I was 8, I was molested for 6 years, I was abused for 3.5 years. These life changing events have made me into the person I am. For anyone who has been through a traumatizing experience, they will change. They will be a completely different person, they are unlike any other being on this planet. It has been a very long, challenging learning experience. Here’s what I have come to realize as the years have went on…

1. We have our script memorized. We can talk about these things without ever flinching. We won’t cry, we won’t get somber. We’ll say it’s okay to those who apologize. Later, we’ll go home, lock ourselves in our room, and cry.
2. Our thoughts are our worst enemy. We think too much, we read into every little thing you do. We pay attention to the details. We’re always on the lookout.
3. People leave. All the time. Whether it be by death or their choosing to walk out. It has made us realize that dwelling on that person only makes us more miserable. So we learned to move on, maybe too quickly, but that’s just who we are.
4. We can put on a brave show. We can be absolutely heartbroken and still look you in the eye and act as if everything is okay. We don’t like to be weak.
5. We have a wall up, at all times. If we let down that wall for you, you better step up and understand how important that is. For when(not if, because we know better) you hurt us, that wall will go back up twice as big.
6. We have a different perspective on life. We see things much differently than others. We find the positive in most any situations.
7. We can also find the negative in any situation. We jump to the worst conclusions possible, and have a hard time believing otherwise.
8. We are moody. Not your average female moody either. We can be a complete bitch and honestly have no idea why. We get moody, we get bitchy, we get sappy, that’s just how we are. We can’t explain it. Just be patient.
9. If you’re going to love a girl like this, you have to have patience. You have to understand that she doesn’t always know what’s wrong. Let it go. Don’t keep asking. Don’t push her to open up. You’ll push her away.
10. We love to laugh. We love to make others laugh. We can’t stand seeing people hurt. We know pain too well. We’re the ones with the biggest laugh. Laughing makes us feel good. Everything is okay for once.
11. Something small could set us off, just because it causes pain from a previous experience. Understand that it doesn’t have anything to do with you personally.
12. To love a girl like this is the most challenging yet rewarding experience. We give our all. We love with everything in our soul. So take care of her, treasure her, learn her. Learn the art of loving her and every little thing about her.